I started taking my health seriously back in 2015, right before my senior year of college. Up till then it had been on my mind a lot (the generic "I need to lose weight") but I finally started doing something about it.

I figured it out on my first try and stuck to the program 100% and lost 30 pounds all in the first ninety days. SAID ME, NEVER.

I have still, even now to the exact moment I sit here typing these words in April 2018, only ever finished ONE workout program, and it was only seven days. And I didn't do all seven days in a row -- it took (at least) 5 months to go from day 1-7. I did the last 5 days in a row but it really did take MONTHS to get to that point.

Up until now, no advice ever worked on me. Nothing. Not "just do it," not "let's be accountability partners" (do you know how many people I've tried that with and then unfriended like 3 weeks later because accountability partners just never worked???), not "I'm doing this for my health," not even "remember your why."

NOTHING. WORKED.

It wasn't that I hated my body or that I was pressured to look a certain way. It's just that I started developing health issues (sleep apnea, PCOS, borderline hypertension) and I felt pressured to get healthier before it got worse.

Not even the pressure of potentially poor health worked on me.

I would lie awake at night wondering why I just couldn't seem to stay consistent. I wanted to be able to "just do it" like everyone says. But I never could. Then the self-consciousness and feelings of worthlessness set in and it got even worse because I spent so much energy feeling worthless that I had no energy to lift myself up.

(Fun fact: NOT EVEN THE GUILT OF FEELING WORTHLESS WAS ENOUGH TO GET MY OFF MY ASS.)

So you can probably imagine how I'd been feeling for, oh I don't know, over three years. Absolutely worthless, compounded by the fact that I felt bad for not doing anything and feeling crappy about feeling worthless, and so on. Vicious cycle that I still fight off every single goddamn day.

Why can't you just fucking do it? Why are you so lazy? Why is this so hard? Why do I want this so bad but just can't seem to get it right?!

Am I just not meant for this? Am I meant to live my life on the sidelines, always wanting but never following through?

And then….

And then.

And then I realized something.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize this.

The reason there has always been a disconnect is because I have never actually BELIEVED that a significant transformation was possible.

Sure, I thought about it. But I never had the ability to actually BELIEVE it and see it as a reality.

I have my "why" nailed down -- I am on this journey as a way to improve my health and prevent disease, and inspire others along the way. It's memorized and internalized. It's visual and visceral and it's a part of me.

But even this white-hot-burning WHY was never enough. I can visualize something all day long, but I finally learned how to BELIEVE that I could have the life of my dreams.

It was kind of floating up in the ether of my brain and then suddenly it hit me: just act like it's real and already happened.

Seriously. Act like it already happened and all you have to do is claim it. Act like all you have to do is go get it. Every action you take is a step toward a very real outcome.

Imagine it not as an abstract "future you" dream that will never come true.

It's not a dream. YOUR IDEAL OUTCOME IS EVERY BIT AS REAL AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

There is absolutely no reason why your life CAN'T end up the way you want (unless you want to become a wizard, in which case no, that def won't happen). This is how I can believe it already happened and I'm just moving myself closer to what is rightfully mine.

Trust yourself. Trust Future You. Trust that Future You is every bit as real as Current You. There's literally no reason why that can't happen as long as you're setting realistic, attainable goals that align with your purpose.

You want this so badly, more than you've ever wanted anything. There is absolutely NO REASON why you can't have it. None. Zero.

Have the AUDACITY to believe that everything you've ever wanted is already yours and that you just haven't gotten there yet.

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